Dear Lover Man/Man of My Dreams/Mr Right
CC: Mr. Right-Now

Plainly put, I’m not ready for you yet. Well… Let me elaborate…

I’m ready for being treated well and appreciated
I’m ready for the good… No great love you are ready to give me
I’m more than ready to love you… I think
I could go on and on about what I’m ready for…

But what I’m not ready for is the haters and negative attention we would get for finding each other. The rumors, the past, general shit that doesn’t matter… Sheer stupidity, assumed ulterior motives and lack of communication…
I’ve lost before because of that kind of pointless drama…

Look. The bottom line is, right now being with you may mean my biz is out in the street. If I’m alone, I control what’s out there… With you not so much… Just an inference of your existence becomes headline news  and makes me wanna punch the town crier in the face and I get upset and tend to stress! And that stress is prolly gonna make me lose you anyway… Not. Cool.

I want to be stronger than that before I get into a relationship… I want it to be at a point where it truly doesn’t matter what they say no matter how much they say it… I want the two of us to be beyond assumption and into communication… K?

K.

Amber Chardonnay